By Pepa Wenrich
When parents are upset or frustrated because their child did something wrong, and they don’t have something kind or constructive to say, it is better to remain quiet.
By getting angry, sending guilt messages, nagging and withdrawing love from their children, parents don’t solve conflicts; furthermore, they create additional difficulties and resistance because they:
- direct the attention of the child OFF the real problem. The child responds:
"I need to recognize that what I did was not right”
- stir up emotions of anger and resentment in the child instead of the one feeling that will change the child, sadness.
- place the burden of correcting the behavior on themselves
- show low expectations of the child’s ability to behave